Talking To Yourself

“You like her?”

“Of course. She’s great.”

“Ask her out then.”

“Ummm… no.”

“Why?”

“Because…”

“…Because why?”

“Well, you know… I…”

“What?”

“I don’t know if she likes me back!”

“Go find out!”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes! What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Ummm… she says no!”

“Aaand?”

“…And that would suck!”

“But at least you asked her out, right?”

“No, no, no. I don’t want to ask her out unless I know she also likes me back.”

“Maybe she doesn’t realize it.”

“Oh, pfft. People don’t just realize they’re into somebody.”

“Yes they can.”

“No they can’t.”

“Yes they can!”

“No they can’t! If I ask her out she’s not going to suddenly decide ‘Oh, you know what? Turns out I’m super into you and I just forgot to give you any kind of signal at all to let you know.’”

“I mean…”

“You’re so annoying…”

“Listen to me, listen to me. You ask her out and let’s say she says no, okay?”

“Ugh. Why are you doing this?”

“If she says no, now what?”

“I cry in a corner until the world explodes.”

“Seriously.”

“Just—what she and I have now, I don’t want that ruined, you know? I don’t want that to change.”

“It will change if you ask her out.”

“It’ll only change if she says no.”

“Nooo, it will change ev-a-ree-thing if you ask her out.”

“Yikes, um, no pressure, thanks for that.”

“It’s the truth! From friends to dating – that’s a change!”

“What I mean is I don’t want what she and I have to go away. We get along great and if I ask her out… maybe it’ll scare her. Maybe she’ll stop treating me the way she does.”

“And you don’t think she might be feeling the exact same way?”

“…I guess… it’s possible.”

“See?”

“But it’s different.”

“How?”

“I don’t know! It just is! You know what? I’m done having this conversation.”

“I’m not, though.”

“Please be done with this conversation, I’d really like to move on from this.”

“You and I both know that you won’t get any sleep until you ask her out.”

“Fair enough—”

“Thank you!”

“However—”

“Ugggh! What?!”

“I won’t ever sleep again if she says no.”

“So if you aren’t sleeping either way, might as well go for the better reward, right?”

“What would I even say? How would I even ask her out?”

“That’s it—you know what? Now you’re being annoying! You’re overthinking all of this! You’re talking to yourself, not even realizing that you’re telling yourself the reasons you should do it! You came up with these reasons to ask her out! You’re holding yourself back when you know that you should just go for it! Okay? Sheesh! My goodness! Don’t be afraid, for once, Jason, and shoot your shot.”

Jason exhaled heavily by the school lockers. He stared anxiously into the small square mirror in his blue locker, reflecting a weak teenager back at him. But he lifted his chin anyway. He was right. Don’t be afraid and shoot your shot.

Jason closed his locker and turned around to see Gracie. She was standing alone putting textbooks in her backpack while texting someone. Jason slowly approached her.

“H-hey,” he cleared his throat.

“Hey, Jason! Ugh, finally out of that history class. I really don’t care about the Industrial Revolution.”

“Same. Um… hey, Gracie. Wooouuuld…”

“Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, he’s about to ask me out. He’s about to ask me out!”

“Stay calm, Gracie, staaay caaalm.”

“I can’t believe it. Ahhh! I’ve been waiting for him to ask him out! It’s about time! I gave him so many clues all year.”

“This is great, isn’t it? You two are such good friends already.”

“But… wait… what if it doesn’t work out?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, like, what if it just… doesn’t work out between us? And we aren’t friends anymore?”

“What makes you think it won’t work out?”

“I dunno, I’ve just, like, seen it happen and… and I really, really don’t want that to happen with me and him.”

“Obviously you don’t. But who says it won’t work out?”

“Fair enough—”

“Great!”

“However—”

“Whaaat, Gracie?”

“Who’s to say it will?”

“That’s not fair and you know it.”

“But it’s true! You don’t know if it’ll work out! No one knows!”

“Alright. Listen up. You’re gonna say yes to him. You know why?”

“No… why?”

“Because you want to go out with him. Am I right or am I right?”

“Yes, you’re right…”

“If you keep overthinking like this, you’ll worry yourself right out of this relationship with a guy you’ve been wanting to be with. And you know what? I guarantee you he’s just as nervous as you are.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“You’re wrong, I’m right, and you know it. Both of you are a little scared, and that’s a good thing. Go with the flow and just enjoy each other. Like you said, you’re both already good friends. Just stop worrying so much, k?”

“Okaaay.”

“Wooouuuld…” Jason dragged it out as long as he could.

“Wooouuuld I…?” Gracie helped him.

“Liiike tooo…”

Gracie waited. She realized a smile had formed on her face that made her blush.

“Go out with me?” Jason barely got out.

“Absolutely.”

“Really?”

“Really really.”

Jason sighed in relief.

“See, Jason? Easy. She didn’t even have to think about it.”