Camilla's Sunset

Camilla watched the evening sun kiss the horizon; vibrant swirls of pink and orange exploding throughout the California sky. The guardrail against the cliff framed the sunset; the music playing from the Jeep captured the feeling of a moment lost in time. Flashes of streetlights swept across her view as she sat in the back of the Jeep. She sat in the back seat and watched the world go by, hoping it would. Quickly.

Camilla wasn’t impressed with the scenery, but she watched the sun sink faster with each second. Her friends were deep in exciting conversation and laughing constantly. But she chose to look to her left and watch the world go by. She liked her friends, she was grateful for them, but they were the excuse to leave home; and any excuse was worth it.

Home was miserable for Camilla. Her parents fought, or they wouldn’t speak to each other for weeks. Dad would pack up his things and leave for a month, then one day just show up and act like nothing happened. And mom would let him stay. Her little sister Nathalie was 12. Camilla tried raising her since mom spent most of Nathalie’s life arguing with their dad. And their dad didn’t know anything about Nathalie – her hobbies, her friends, what she liked, how she was doing in school – so he tried to make up for it by buying toys constantly. Camilla’s parents were the same with her; they knew Camilla but they tried to buy her approval with nice dinners and expensive gifts each time they had to break the news to her that dad was going to stay and tell her, “This time it will be different.”

The sun was a quarter of the way set, now having come to the coastline of Santa Monica. The deep orange washed over the Pacific Ocean, bouncing an array of colors back to Camilla. She put her fist to her chin and watched the waves. They didn’t impress her still, but it took her mind off home.

She looked to her right and saw her friend Stephanie. Stephanie was gulping a large gas station Slushee. The bright artificial blue had stained her tongue, which prompted her to take out her phone and capture a cute selfie. Her long brown hair was kept under a Dodgers hat while it flew behind her in the wind with the Jeep’s top down. Camilla was off-put by how seemingly careless Stephanie was. She spilled on herself often, blurted out swear words when she did even the slightest thing wrong, and she sang horribly. But she cared about all her friends deeply; she was loyal. She cared about Camilla.

Camilla remembered the time Stephanie drove across the valley to bring her food after she told her she was having a bad day after her dad left again, to which they stayed up until 3am sitting in Stephanie’s car talking the night away. She needed that. She had many bad days, but Stephanie could turn a bad day into a pleasant memory in heartbeat. Though she wished things would change, that her parents would figure it out, that she and Nathalie could go somewhere else; deep down Camilla realized she was grateful for the days life was rough, because Stephanie’s friendship was worth it.

The sunset dipped itself halfway into the ocean waters, casting a beam of yellow across the horizon as the sky above it melted pink; the highest space in the sky was beginning to turn purple from the coming night. Camilla leaned back and saw her friend Kara in the passenger seat. Kara was leaning forward and turning up the volume of the music – Stephanie sang horribly even louder. Kara swayed her head and threw her hands up blissfully. She had gotten ready for the night as if she was on a first date; her makeup was done and she wore long earrings, clearly invested in her looks. It worried Camilla how often Kara had a new boyfriend; she seemed to be interested in a new guy always, going on dates with someone different each time anyone asked. They rarely lasted a month, and up to this point none had lasted. But Kara was determined to believe in love. Despite the heartbreak after heartbreak, Kara was always willing to give someone a chance; she was always willing to give herself a chance, too.

Kara was the friend Camilla could trust when she needed to vent. One afternoon Camilla’s mom tried to persuade Camilla to let her dad come home, Camilla put her foot down and wouldn’t be convinced it would go any differently than it had in the past. Her mom insisted this time would be different, that dad would stay forever and that she wouldn’t let him leave. Camilla slammed her bedroom door shut. Later that day Camilla’s mom brought her home a pair of headphones she had been wanting. Camilla was amazed and overwhelmed – then her mom brought her dad in and calmly informed Camilla dad was coming home and they were going to work things out. In an impulse Camilla called Kara and vented through tears. After almost 40 minutes of ranting – she hadn’t told anyone what was going on before – Camilla apologized for wasting Kara’s time with something as depressing as this. Kara quickly refused her apology and expressed with sincerity that she understood what was going on and that this is what friends were for. Kara promised Camilla she could call anytime.

Camilla turned back to the sea and saw the sun had dimmed, now three quarters gone; pulling the light with it underneath the water. The sky was folding over black as the remaining pink and yellow stuck underneath the lowest clouds. Camilla looked along the beach and saw couples and families had gathered in the cooling winds, spread out over the sand, to watch the same sunset she was. They were watching the world go by, slowly.

Finally, Camilla leaned her head to her right and looked in the rearview and saw Madison driving the Jeep. She left her sunglasses on and lifted her head up to look back in the rearview mirror to include Stephanie in the conversation with Kara. Madison wore a sweatshirt and a headband, constantly rolling and unrolling her sleeves, with her knee kicked up beside her on the seat. She was extremely animated when she spoke, which sometimes bothered Camilla, especially while driving because Madison was waving her hands rapidly instead of keeping at least one hand on the wheel. Madison was always “on,” as Camilla would put it. She always had loads of energy, talked loudly – you couldn’t get her to whisper if her life depended on it –, and seemed to always share the most dramatic gossip. She was a natural at turning the mundane into heightened reality. Likewise, she would cherish every little thing anyone would do for her. And she was eager to do anything for anyone ever.

After a heated argument between Camilla and her mom, trying to explain why dad couldn’t stay for the hundredth time, she and her mom had stopped talking. Camilla texted Madison an essay, detailing how infuriated she was with her parents, with how they never listened, with how awful she felt for Nathalie, how hard it was to stay positive when this was happening every day at home – how frustrated she was with life, and that she wished it would be over sometimes. Instead of responding with correction or guidance, Madison simply invited Camilla to spend the night if she wanted to get away. For a moment Camilla declined because she didn’t want to leave Nathalie, but after a second thought she decided she would go.

That night Madison made her the most wonderful meal. They brought blankets to the couch and watched terrible comedies together. Madison showed Camilla all the board games they had, and they played for hours. When night came, Madison offered her own bed and opted to sleep on the couch. Camilla declined insensately, but Madison’s stubbornness forced Camilla to accept the bed. After they got ready for the night, Madison sat on her bed with Camilla and listened to her life and her troubles. Camilla shared the details of her home life and occasionally got teary eyed – to which she would either crack a joke or apologize for whining about her life. But Madison let her open up, and she continued to ask Camilla to talk as long as she wished. Hours and hours and hours had passed. They sat on Madison’s bed almost the whole night. After Camilla had cried herself numb and dried out her mouth from talking for so long, she thanked Madison, to which she responded by hugging her tightly. Camilla hadn’t been hugged in God knows how long.

The sun slipped under the Santa Monica coast and the light followed it, turning the sky into a canvas of black, purple, and deep blue; dotted with twinkling stars and glowing planets. Camilla looked straight up and saw the crescent moon hanging the in the air; close enough that she thought if she reached with all her might, she could hang on and fly up into the stars.

As she stared at the moon, she passed into a tunnel. Orange rings of light swept over her from the lights inside. There was no one else in the tunnel except them. Camilla looked at her friends and smiled fondly. These were the friends that listened to her, that cared for her, that loved her. She had been afraid to share what her home life was like because she thought they’d turn away from her or look down at her. Instead they offered themselves: their time, their money, their homes, their nights, their lives. Camilla caught herself judging them for their flaws; how Stephanie was a bit of a slob, how Kara dated so frequently, how hyper Madison was. But they never judged her, even after knowing about her mom and dad. They didn’t try to fix her, the just loved her. They were the family she chose.

They came out of the tunnel and Camilla took in the scenery; thousands of city lights illuminating the world, a mountain that curved and dipped and grew in a beautiful shape with peaks of snow gently caressing the side, a spectacle of moonlight reflecting off the ocean, and her friends laughing together. Camilla joined in the conversation; they welcomed her easily.

She took in the view. She watched the world go by, hoping it would stay. Forever.